GOP Tools of Ignorance
It’s spring, which for me means baseball season. It’s also primary season. So before I head out to bag up the crepe myrtle trimmings, here’s a quick look at putting the two together.
Aside from the former governor of Massachusetts, the primary meaning of the word “mitt” is a glove, specifically a catcher’s mitt. And as any aficionado of baseball can tell you, a catcher’s equipment is collectively known as the “tools of ignorance.”
Mitt Romney’s self-identification as “severely conservative” would, to some, qualify him as a tool of ignorance. Where do other prominent Republicans fit in? Here are a few, diagrammed over a photo of Yadier Molina, the finest catcher in all the land:
- Mitt is, well, duh, the mitt.
- Newt Gingrich is the helmet and mask: it looks like there’s a brain in there, but sometimes you can’t be sure.
- Rush Limbaugh is the chest protector: he’s backed by a large portion of the GOP’s core.
- Ricks Santorum and Perry are the shinguards: they’ve got the extremities covered.
- Ron Paul is the athletic supporter and cup: he has the nuts behind him.