Nobody From Nowhere (@i8dc)

Occasional Common Sense

GOP Tools of Ignorance

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It’s spring, which for me means baseball season.  It’s also primary season.  So before I head out to bag up the crepe myrtle trimmings, here’s a quick look at putting the two together.

Aside from the former governor of Massachusetts, the primary meaning of the word “mitt” is a glove, specifically a catcher’s mitt.  And as any aficionado of baseball can tell you, a catcher’s equipment is collectively known as the “tools of ignorance.”

Mitt Romney’s self-identification as “severely conservative” would, to some, qualify him as a tool of ignorance.  Where do other prominent Republicans fit in?  Here are a few, diagrammed over a photo of Yadier Molina, the finest catcher in all the land:

  • Mitt is, well, duh, the mitt.
  • Newt Gingrich is the helmet and mask: it looks like there’s a brain in there, but sometimes you can’t be sure.
  • Rush Limbaugh is the chest protector: he’s backed by a large portion of the GOP’s core.
  • Ricks Santorum and Perry are the shinguards: they’ve got the extremities covered.
  • Ron Paul is the athletic supporter and cup: he has the nuts behind him.

Written by David Clayton

March 14, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Posted in Punditry

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